Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
