I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
