had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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