pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
