If i come over, it means nothing
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
