Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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