you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
