if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
