he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
