Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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