i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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