break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
