Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
