hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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