You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Drake has all the answers
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
