I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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