He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
