I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Randomize
