I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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