I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Ketchup is God's man juice
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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