just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
