whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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