That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
