I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
