We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize
