Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
