redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
