her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I will pee on everything he values.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize