is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
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