Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
