Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
