How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize