It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
