is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
accomplished twins. life is a go
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
