its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Randomize
