I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
