I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
