Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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