Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
