we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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