Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
