U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
