i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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