no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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