Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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