I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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