Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
