The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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