I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
