So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
