Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
