Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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