the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
