these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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