What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
