hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
