He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
