I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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