already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize