i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
