hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
