Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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