I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
