so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
