anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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